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:iconalysonroseecstacy: More from AlysonRoseEcstacy





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December 9, 2012
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I fell in love with botdf.
I'll Tell you about myself.
About two years ago I was in 11th grade I met Brandi, in choir, She saw my cuts on My wrist I forgot about them they was almost gone, She pulled me next her as we sat down and told me explain.
I told her about how I had been stressed and missing my grandpa and my family fighting and it just seemed to help, She told me she understood and she knew what I meant. We became friends.
Then a year later around Thanksgiving Brandi got into botdf she was walking up the stairs of school, I was next to her, She was singing/saying "Fuck me rape me take me blow me"
I looked at her and was like "What the fuck Brandi?"
She giggled and said "I have to show you this band!" then drug me to the library. We got on line and she showed me them playing the older songs with Garret Sex and Violence was the first song she played. I thought they are cool I like them.
Two weeks later my mom took my mp3 player. I ended up begging Brandi to let me borrow her Ipod one night she finally gave in. I was heading home trying to figure out how to work it. It was playing botdf, so I walked home listening to them,  then the next day I went to give Brandi her ipod back.
She handed me the Charger  and said "keep it safe my dad is flipping out and said he sees it he'll sell it"
I took it as her dad walked up an told her lets go. She hugged me and walked off.
I figured out how to work her ipod, I still mainly listened to botdf, I like the tenchoishness of them and they kept me happy most of the time.
Well Thursday of the week after Brandi gave me her ipod. My parents and I got into a huge fight I don't remember about what but I know it was bad, they left I ran down and grabbed a knife I ran back up.
I wrote my note Saying something like Im sorry and they would be happier with out me and that the ipod was Brandis to return it to her. I grabbed it put the head phones in  turned it on I don't remember what was playing it was botdf though, I know it was a upbeat happy sexual song. I knew I wanted to die with the upbeat sound in my mind. I grabbed the knife and pulled it across my wrist fast and deep I took a deep breath and got ready to drag it across again, then I stopped hearing the drums of Fallen Star I listened for a few a few seconds I took another deep breath and got ready to pull the knife again then Dahvie started to sing. He seemed so sad I could hear it in his voice I dropped the knife and listened to the whole song by the end I was crying. I got up shoved the ipod in my bra and then went and cleaned my wrist made sure it stopped bleeding. From that day on BOTDF has given me strength to go on and to make threw every single day. I don't know if I will ever be able to tell them thank you, every time im down they make me happy they give me the strength to go on they made me the person I am today. I don't give a fuck about what people say about me, because of botdf. With botdf I didn't only get a new favorite band I got a whole new family. The SGTC is my family they don't judge me and they are there when I need them.
I posted this as my journal too
:icondarby-michelle:
darby-michelle Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
i know what you mean. recently my family has rejected me and my only real family is my SGTC. i meet them every where, i met one today when i was out shopping <3 my family is every where and its always a surprise to see one of my family memebrs <3 it makes me happy <3
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:iconalysonroseecstacy:
AlysonRoseEcstacy Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
The sgtc gives me even more hope than any one
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